


Fresh Air.

by sagelabyrinth



Series: Bile and Panic, the Holden Ford experience. [4]
Category: Mindhunter (TV 2017)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Family, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 09:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21354097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagelabyrinth/pseuds/sagelabyrinth
Summary: "You were an only child, weren't you?" Bill let out a huff of air, apparently, it was a laugh. It was an innocent comment. Just a joke. But it hit Holden deep."No, actually."
Relationships: Holden Ford & Bill Tench
Series: Bile and Panic, the Holden Ford experience. [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1528556
Comments: 2
Kudos: 94





	Fresh Air.

"You were an only child, weren't you?" Bill let out a huff of air, apparently, it was a laugh. It was an innocent comment. Just a joke. But it hit Holden deep.

"No, actually." Holden let his reply sit for a second. He wasn't sure if he actually _meant _to say it.

"No?" Bill shot him a confused glance, "You never mentioned having a sibling before."

Holden took a second to figure out how to use his mouth again, "Uh, yeah. I have-- had-- a brother. Lucas. He... Died. When I was ten."

Silence fell amongst them. The duo sat in the 1972 Plymouth Roadrunner. Bill's cigarette smoke filled the air as he took a drag.

"Shit."

Holden shrugged and fiddled with his hands, "It's fine."

"I'm sorry, kid. How'd he die?" asked Bill. He wasn't one to tip-toe around subjects. Holden actually admired him for it.

"Suicide."

A beat passed.

"He was fifteen. Took my dad's Colt into the garage."

Holden just said the words, he wasn't actually thinking about saying them.

Bill was captured by stunned silence. They continued the rest of their drive in quiet. Every so often, Holden would see Bill glance worriedly at him from the corner of his eye.

He didn't mind, though. He supposed it was nice, having Bill care. It was usually so hard to tell whether he did or not.

"Sorry." Holden suddenly spoke.

"For what?" Bill's gruff voice inquired. He cleared his throat and kept his eyes firmly on the road, almost like he was making it a point to not look at Holden.

Holden shifted, "You are uncomfortable. I made this car ride uncomfortable."

Bill chuckled, an actual laugh, "Jeez, kid, don't be too emotional."

"Listen, kid... I shouldn't've asked you how he died, I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it, or anything."

Holden nodded slightly.

"Unless," Bill awkwardly started, "unless, uh. You... Want to? Talk about it, I mean."

He sat in contemplation. Holden hadn't _really _talked about Lucas in years. It was an unspoken rule in his house to not speak of it. His mother's method of grief was to get so tipsy on wine that she'd sleep all day. Which ended up heavily contributing to her death. And his father chose to just... Forget. He acted like Lucas had never existed in the first place. Tearing up his old room, getting rid of family photos, the whole nine yards.

"I was ten, when Luke died. So I never really had a chance to get a lot of great memories with 'im."

Bill nodded, a way to tell Holden he could keep going.

"But, uh," he breathed out, "this one time, we were in the kitchen. I must've been about five, we were trying to gather up pots and pans so we could make a drumset. Father wouldn't let us get a real one. So we raided the cupboards and found the Wedding China. Now, at five and ten, we didn't know it was important, _or _that it would _break,_"

Holden paused to let out a proper laugh, "so we set it up, get the spatulas, spoons, whatever we could get. We start banging on these bowls and we hit one _just right _and **_bam!_**" he slammed his fist into his open palm, "China smashes into hundreds of little shards."

He continues his hearty laughter and Bill joins in.

"Now, the noise must've woken up my old man, because he comes barreling in, "What are you doing! Look at this mess!". Luke and I, we're scared shitless, so he grabs my little arm and runs me out the house. We take off down the road and wound up in a neighbor's backyard eating apples in their treehouse!"

Holden wipes tears from his eyes, his stomach muscles begin to ache in a good way, "God, that was _the most _fun I've ever had..."

His laughter dies down, he lets out a small sigh. 

Bill softly smiles, "Sounds like he was a pretty good brother."

"Yeah," Holden relaxes, "he really was."

They sit in silence again, but it's comfortable this time. Content.

**Author's Note:**

> This was really short, but I wanted to post _something_, so...
> 
> I'm trying hard to bust out another chapter for Hello, Neighbors, but I'm having terrible writer's block for that one...


End file.
